I didn’t immigrate to Canada. I was traded for Eric McCormack.
Such deals are often done on the quiet and for great sums of money. And giving up somebody like me didn’t come cheap. Negotiations were tough. And so in addition to McCormack, Canada had to sweeten the deal by throwing in Mike Myers, Jim Carrey and the drummer from Nickelback. The United States, in turn, gave up ‘me’ and agreed to renew William Shatner’s visa.
But I have to say, it’s all been worth it. My ‘star’ has shot through the roof like a sex comet. That’s right, a flaming, fire breathing sex rocket.
But it’s not easy gang. It’s not all fun and games, this past year alone I was stopped on the street at least 3 times. Granted, it was for directions, but I know that if any of those people had been watching me on FALLING SKIES (instead of Ashton Kutcher on Two and Half Men) they’d have been blown away at how super cool I am. Was. Am.
That said, can you feel it? I know I can. Get close enough, and you can actually smell it. And it’s just a matter of time before Steven whatshisface comes to his senses and begins work on my magnum opus, JOHN POPE: The Man, The Myth, The Legend. Only this won’t just be some kind of FALLING SKIES spin-off, but a spin-offsome. That’s right. It’s a new word. A word that means ‘All Pope.’ All the time.
But ’till then. I’ll just have to get used to being a super star. And ya, because of that, I walk with a certain kind of strut. ‘Cause I know I’m lookin’ good. See, when you’re a STAR (editor please keep capitalized), you have to walk a certain way. That lets people know, you’re special. That, and the chicks totally dig it. Just the other day, I walked past two very attractive women and overheard one of them whisper to the other, ‘Good Lord. Get a load of him.’
So. Ya. I may be from the States. And you may not think much of me at first, but with hard work and a bit of luck, I could just turn out to be the most popular import to Canada since Helmut Oberlander.












PROVIDENCE
Life isn’t worth much when you get to that state
I took him along to the one place I knew
With the pick of the flowers round a little old stone







